Elvis in the Sky With a Fools Gold Loaf

Nothing riles people up more than to have a personal shrine or holy site altered or desecrated.  One just needs to look in the newspaper to see almost daily reports of houses of worship or revered symbols being destroyed.  One example that recently hit close to home is the report that Graceland would be removing Elvis' two personal airplanes from its campus.  The airplanes: the Lisa Marie, described as a flying limousine with a bedroom and gold plated bathroom fixtures and the Hound Dog II, a smaller jet also used by the King are both on display and require a separate ticket purchase to tour them.  Neither of the planes are currently owned by Elvis Presley Enterprises but are privately owned and displayed under a revenue sharing agreement.  Plans have been mentioned to build a new hotel on or near the site but the time frame for the planes removal hasn't been stated.

As I said before, when you begin to alter what many feel is a shrine, people will get riled up and no one gets more worked up like an Elvis fan.  Things apparently have gotten so heated with the complaints from fans that Priscilla Presley herself has taken to her Facebook page to ask everyone to "please calm down".  I have to admit I didn't personally shell out the additional ticket price to go through the planes.  Frankly, I didn't think my constitution could hold up enough to view both Graceland and his planes on the same day.

Personally, m favorite story about Elvis had to do with his jet.  I had heard it years ago, but only recently did the online search to verify the details.  It is classic late life Elvis.

The Legend of Elvis and the Fool's Gold Loaf

In 1976, Elvis was entertaining friends at Graceland when the conversation turned to food.  His guests, who were from Colorado, mentioned to The King a particular sandwich that was available at only one restaurant in Denver that he should try sometime.  When his guests described the sandwich, Elvis immediately decided he wanted one right then and there.  He then ordered his jet, the Lisa Marie, to be prepared for an immediate flight to Denver.  After the two hour flight, the plane was met by the owners of the Denver restaurant that offered the sandwich and reportedly 22 of the sandwiches were delivered to the Lisa Marie.  Elvis and his friends then commenced to eat the sandwiches and then flew back to Memphis without ever leaving the plane in Colorado.  I have read where the sandwiches cost $50 each in 1976 and the whole trip that evening to Denver cost Elvis about $16,000 in total, but who knows where those figures came from.  While having 22 sandwiches delivered to a plane flown on a whim across the country is a good story, the real "meat" of the legend is what the sandwiches actually were.

Here is the recipe for the Fool's Gold Loaf:

- One loaf of French Bread sliced lengthwise
- Two tablespoons melted Margarine
- One jar of smooth Peanut Butter
- One jar of Jelly (Elvis supposedly preferred Blueberry)
- One pound of cooked bacon

Take the sliced loaf and bath it on all sides with melted margarine
Bake the bread till golden brown on all sides
Spread one jar of peanut butter on one slice of bread
Spread one jar of jelly on other slice of bread
Place cooked bacon on sandwich, place slices together and serve.
(Some sources claim that the sandwich was then deep fried, but I don't think even the King would do that)

Photo from Elvisblog.com  (I'm not about to try and make one of these at home for a photo)

Now, here is the kicker.  The legend claims that about seven people flew to Denver that night including the pilot and co-pilot.  So...that's 22 sandwiches for 7 diners.  I don't know how many Elvis enjoyed personally, but I am sure he held his own in the eating melee that must have ensued.  Some folks say this is just a legend and that Elvis was a Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich man through and through.  To me, The King deserves a sandwich fit for a king and the Fool's Gold Loaf at an estimated 8000 calories each has Elvis written all over it.

He was dead just over a year after his Fool's Gold Adventure.

Dread of a Salesman

In the history of human civilization, I doubt if there is a request that is more ignored than No Soliciting.  Regardless of how this message is presented, it has no bearing on a person determined to attempt a sale.  Perhaps the issue is more with the wording, after all solicitation isn't a phrase that naturally rolls off the tongue in daily speech.  The Merriam Webster dictionary defines solicit as "to ask for something from a person, company, etc.".   So, to be clear...when someone rings my doorbell and asks for a signature on a petition, a request to purchase a home alarm system or to save my everlasting soul, in my personal definition...this is all solicitation.  So what should be the wording be to warn a potential door ringer that their interruption of my peaceful home life isn't desired?  It can't be "no salesmen" because that would allow the petition signers and watchtower distributors to filter through.  It has to be simple enough to be read by a young child so there won't be any pleading to purchase wrapping paper, cooking dough or other useless school fundraising goods. It also has to be non-threatening enough to ensure people you actually want to come and visit you aren't frightened away.

A doormat like this may be a bit too "uni-bombery" for our subdivision but it would probably be most effective for the witnesses of jehovah...

Available on Amazon, of course

This is along the same lines but has the benefit of being a bit more succinct for the magazine sellers....

I remember when I was in college outside of a small rural town in Virginia,  I was leaving the local liquor store when I noticed a couple of handmade signs mounted on the overhanging roof that you could only see if you were standing on the sidewalk in front of the store looking out to the parking lot.  The message on the sign was "No Loafing".  The signs seemed to work because no one was lounging about the sidewalk at that moment.  When I looked back at the front of the store from the parking lot, I noticed that "No Loitering" signs were facing out from the store.  It got me thinking that perhaps those folks that are susceptible to the sirens call of standing outside of a liquor store and watching the world go by either aren't familiar with the term loitering or perhaps "No Loafing" just has a greater feel of authority.  Recently, I noticed that the No Loafing message was more prevalent than I imagined.  During a visit to Graceland,  I was impressed that Vernon Presley, Elvis' father, posted this sign outside of the building he used as an office to process The King's vast fan mail.  If it was good enough for the father of the King, perhaps loafing should be used across the board rather than loitering.

Actually, my views on door to door solicitors are starting to evolve.  My oldest son is currently serving as an intern for a US Senate candidate and in this role he has to ring a whole bunch of doorbells.  Thinking about how he is reacted to by homeowners has caused me to rethink how I typically welcome these folks at my door.  I need to understand that they are only doing their job and honestly want to improve my outlook, education and quality of life by what they have to offer.  I should welcome their intrusions so that I can be made a better man and they achieve the success they so desperately desire.

Nope, not a chance.