Dread of a Salesman

In the history of human civilization, I doubt if there is a request that is more ignored than No Soliciting.  Regardless of how this message is presented, it has no bearing on a person determined to attempt a sale.  Perhaps the issue is more with the wording, after all solicitation isn't a phrase that naturally rolls off the tongue in daily speech.  The Merriam Webster dictionary defines solicit as "to ask for something from a person, company, etc.".   So, to be clear...when someone rings my doorbell and asks for a signature on a petition, a request to purchase a home alarm system or to save my everlasting soul, in my personal definition...this is all solicitation.  So what should be the wording be to warn a potential door ringer that their interruption of my peaceful home life isn't desired?  It can't be "no salesmen" because that would allow the petition signers and watchtower distributors to filter through.  It has to be simple enough to be read by a young child so there won't be any pleading to purchase wrapping paper, cooking dough or other useless school fundraising goods. It also has to be non-threatening enough to ensure people you actually want to come and visit you aren't frightened away.

A doormat like this may be a bit too "uni-bombery" for our subdivision but it would probably be most effective for the witnesses of jehovah...

Available on Amazon, of course

This is along the same lines but has the benefit of being a bit more succinct for the magazine sellers....

I remember when I was in college outside of a small rural town in Virginia,  I was leaving the local liquor store when I noticed a couple of handmade signs mounted on the overhanging roof that you could only see if you were standing on the sidewalk in front of the store looking out to the parking lot.  The message on the sign was "No Loafing".  The signs seemed to work because no one was lounging about the sidewalk at that moment.  When I looked back at the front of the store from the parking lot, I noticed that "No Loitering" signs were facing out from the store.  It got me thinking that perhaps those folks that are susceptible to the sirens call of standing outside of a liquor store and watching the world go by either aren't familiar with the term loitering or perhaps "No Loafing" just has a greater feel of authority.  Recently, I noticed that the No Loafing message was more prevalent than I imagined.  During a visit to Graceland,  I was impressed that Vernon Presley, Elvis' father, posted this sign outside of the building he used as an office to process The King's vast fan mail.  If it was good enough for the father of the King, perhaps loafing should be used across the board rather than loitering.

Actually, my views on door to door solicitors are starting to evolve.  My oldest son is currently serving as an intern for a US Senate candidate and in this role he has to ring a whole bunch of doorbells.  Thinking about how he is reacted to by homeowners has caused me to rethink how I typically welcome these folks at my door.  I need to understand that they are only doing their job and honestly want to improve my outlook, education and quality of life by what they have to offer.  I should welcome their intrusions so that I can be made a better man and they achieve the success they so desperately desire.

Nope, not a chance.