What Did Folks Down South Get Up to This Week?

All sorts of interesting and remarkable items this week:


Descendants of famed Siamese twins celebrate family ties:  Wilkesboro

A family reunion of the descendants of Chang and Eng, the famous conjoined twins that were a feature of the PT Barnum Circus in the 19th century.  Anyone growing up reading the Guinness Book of World Records as a kid will remember these guys....

http://www.journalnow.com/news/local/descendants-of-famed-siamese-twins-celebrate-family-ties/article_c7600e68-153e-11e4-b177-001a4bcf6878.html

Warden considers ending inmate's solitary confinement after 28 straight years- Angola, La.

Twenty-eight years in solitary at Angola State Prison?  Apparently they are considering putting him back into the prison population because they need the cell.

http://theadvocate.com/home/9807246-125/warden-considers-ending-angola-inmates

Minor league general manager gets public prostate exam during 7th inning- Myrtle Beach

7th inning stretch?....only in Myrtle Beach.

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/minor-league-gm-gets-public-prostate-exam-during-7/ngnWM/

Naked thieves take burgers from SW Fla. eatery-  Bonita Springs

60 hamburgers stolen along with some peppers...reckon they would have taken more but they didn't have a way to carry it.

http://www.pnj.com/story/news/2014/07/24/naked-hamburger-thieves/13133467/

PETA objects after Myrtle Beach chimps catch screening of "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes"- Myrtle Beach

I'm against this as well.  All we need is to give these chimps the inspiration to evolve and move us humans to live in the wilderness while they assume their role as our malevolent overlords.  On the other hand, how much fun would it have been to catch one of the chimp's hands in your popcorn so you could say, "take your filthy paws off of my popcorn, you damn dirty ape"....

http://www.myhorrynews.com/news/crime/article_0e6f778c-1371-11e4-b573-0017a43b2370.html

Driftwood home destroyed by fire- Austin

Will folks ever learn the proper choice of building materials from the experience of the three little pigs?

http://www.statesman.com/news/news/local/agencies-fighting-house-fire-in-driftwood/ngm54/

Georgia Wal-Mart evacuated after child starts fire trying to open toy- Albany, Ga.

Lighters....start fires, light cigarettes, open toys...is there anything they can't do?

http://www.albanyherald.com/news/2014/jul/10/ga-walmart-evacuated-after-child-starts-fire-tryin/

State pays $75,000 for rights to "Sweet Home Alabama"- Montgomery

You'd think Skynyrd would cut them a little bit more of a break on the price...

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2014/07/state_pays_75000_for_rights_to.html#incart_m-rpt-2

Hunt Brothers pizza dominates rural Tennessee- Smyrna

I've always seen the signs on worn out old gas stations for this pizza but I always thought it was just a legend...

http://www.tennessean.com/story/money/2014/07/22/hunt-brothers-pizza-dominates-rural-tennessee/13008189/

Alabama 8th-graders rank 50th in math- Montgomery

This changes everything....I had always heard the four most popular words in Alabama education was "Thank God for Mississippi".  I guess now in Mississippi its "Thank God for Alabama".

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2014/07/see_how_alabama_public_schools.html#incart_most-comments

Shark shot 4 times one of two disqualified at Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo- Dauphin Island

I reckon the old boys just got mixed up and thought is was a deep sea hunting rodeo.  Luckily, they didn't get mixed up with the Rodeo part of the tournament's name, so no horses drowned.

http://www.al.com/sports/index.ssf/2014/07/shooting_sharks_its_legal_but.html#incart_2box

World's tallest horse dies at Texas Ranch- San Antonio

His heart was quote, "kind, humble and pure and it showed in his unique and wonderful disposition."  That's better than most folks obituaries.

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/Tallest-Horse-passes-away-at-Texas-ranch-5625535.php

Greer Island's Goat Man- Dallas

A seven foot tall half-man, half-goat that roams the shorelines of Lake Worth.

http://res.dallasnews.com/interactives/goatman/

Woman carrying bottle filled with urine arrested on drug charge- Roebuck, S.C.

I had to read this a couple of times.  Women gets arrested for carrying bottle full of urine because they believe she is going to distill the meth out of it.  Amazing....I wonder if you can do that for beer?

http://www.goupstate.com/article/20140724/ARTICLES/140729801/1083/ARTICLES?Title=Woman-carrying-pill-bottle-filled-with-her-urine-arrested-on-drug-charge

Sweet Savory South- Duke's Mayonnaise

In the South, if you want to get folks talking about food, the go-to subject always seems to be BBQ.  Each region has its own hallmark taste from mutton in Kentucky, to brisket in Texas and pork in the Carolinas.  While these discussions are always lively, at the end of the day they are really about a dish we rarely eat on a daily basis.  Now, I love BBQ but I don't eat it every day for lunch or dinner.  BBQ is an iconic feature of our cuisine, however there is another food that elicits conversations with much of the same passion as BBQ and that is mayonnaise.

The place of mayonnaise in the southern diet can't be overlooked.  From sandwiches to potato salad, cole slaw, deviled eggs, North Alabama BBQ sauce and countless other recipes, mayonnaise is both an ingredient and a condiment whose quality and taste can make or break a dish.

Now, first of all let's set the record straight.  This is not about "salad dressing" or Miracle Whip.  These products may look similar to mayonnaise but they are as close as Iced Tea is to gasoline.  They may have the same general color but they smell different and they sure taste different.  I personally have yet to meet someone who does not express a preference for mayonnaise or salad dressing.  The tastes are just too different to be interchangeable.

In my opinion, the best mayonnaise is Duke's which is a product of C.F. Sauer (Richmond, Va.) and is still manufactured in Greenville, S.C..  There is a big difference in the taste of Duke's when compared to other mayonnaise.  You have to try it to understand.  There are hints of vinegar that provide a taste that you don't find in other recipes.   Like most companies with a great product, Sauer's has expanded the product line to include cholesterol free, fat free and other versions but these don't share the same iconic status as the Original.

Thankfully,  Duke's is relatively easy to find.  However if you are out of town whipping up a batch of  deviled eggs for a football tailgate and need a jar, the website has a store finder that can point you in the right direction.

http://www.dukesmayo.com

My all-time favorite Duke's recipe, is very simple....spread on two pieces of white bread and add several slices of warm, ripe tomato just out of the garden.  You may want to eat this over the sink.

To add even more of a reason to try Duke's, they even a NASCAR sponsor for a short time:

Take the Time to Smell Summer

It's July and while the living is hot, humid and easy, many of us in the South shift into what I call "thermos" mode.  We do everything in our power to insulate ourselves from the heat until the temperature drops in the fall and we can safely open our windows again to more temperate breezes.

While I hail the invention of air conditioning as one of the main reasons our part of the country is now tolerable to live and work in year round, it also has disconnected many of us from using our sense of smell to get the feel of the of the world around us.  I will admit that I don't open the windows of my house during sultry days just to get a whiff of what may be blooming in the yard....the cool air is just too precious.  However, what I will do is drive with my truck windows down.  You would be surprised the sense memories that come flooding back when you pass through an area where distinct summer smells reside.  If you need proof, just look at dogs that folks are giving a ride to.  They stick their noses out of the window for a reason...they know how to appreciate a good summer smell.  To encourage you to get out of "Thermos" mode and experience the outdoors more in this hot weather, here are my personal top 10 smells of a Southern Summer:

10-  Coconut Oil based Suntan lotions.  Nothing jolts you back to hanging out at the pool or beach more than the smell of coconut oil.  I know you aren't supposed to use suntan oil anymore, but a woman can dab on this scent and make all the men around her feel 16 years old again....scratch that...that's probably not such a good idea after all.

9- Chlorine.  I am not a fan of this smell normally but nothing says summer like blurred vision and stinging eyes from staying in the pool too long.

8- River Mud.  A bit of stagnant water smell with the scent of earthy muck baked in.  Makes you remember fishing from the bank for catfish or getting ready to put the tube in to float the river.

7-  Nettles or what I call the smell of Green.  Getting down in the shaded woods where there isn't any breeze stirring to cut the humidity, the thick green smell of the nettles means summer is at its deepest and most humid.

6-  Just cut cantaloupe.  It just smells cool, pungent and right. The stronger the better.  There is a reason they are called muskmelons.

5- The air just as a storm rolls in and just afterwards, when the rain stops.  If you pay attention to the weather, you will know what I mean.

4- Charcoal.  No propane grill can match it.  Something about having to light it, then waiting for it to be ready to cook.  Smelling that smoke with just enough time for a cocktail or two before putting food on is the original slow food movement.

3- Old Bay Seasoning.  Blue crabs or shrimp steaming....there is no mistaking it.

2- A leather baseball glove.  Especially one that is at least 20 years old and has been oiled.  The smell reminds you that there are worse things you can do than playing catch in the front yard  in the evening as the twilight creeps in.

1-Honeysuckle.  Some consider it a burdensome plant but when my time comes, bury me with honeysuckle vining around my headstone so I can be near that sweet scent always.  Sometimes it pays to play it safe, so give me honeysuckle so if the Lord isn't ready for me at least where I lay it will smell like heaven.

Southern Celluloid- The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Based on the best-selling book of the same name by Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter is an touching film about John Singer, a deaf-mute that moves to a small Georgia town and the relationships he builds with the town's characters.  Played by Alan Arkin, Singer moves through the entire film without spoken dialog. While to some viewers this could be challenging to follow through an entire film, Arkin capably carries the story and eventually breaks your heart in the end.  Released in 1968, themes of race relations and civil rights are woven well into the plot as well as struggles with class and wealth that predominate in the small town in which it's set.

What drives the film are the relationships that John Singer struggles to cultivate with those around him.  Obviously lonely and isolated in the new town,  he is completely cut off from others due to their inability to understand his handicap.  Though he works as an engraver in a local jewelry store, his personal relationships tend to revolve around three other characters:  Mick, played by Sondra Locke, the teenage daughter of the poor family from whom he rents his room; Blount, a drifter played by Stacy Keach;  and Dr. Copeland, an African-American physician, played by Percy Rodrigues that struggles relating to his family.

In all three of these relationships, Singer struggles to help each with their personal struggles.  Throughout the film, you see how each person benefits from their knowing Singer because he cares for and understands them, even though he can't speak and can only read lips.  As the film progresses, you understand the loneliness that pervades Singer's life.  He has built these friendships but in the end none of them can grasp what he feels and personally needs.

I'm not going to pull any punches here...I think this is an excellent film both in the acting of Alan Arkin as how well it relates to the social issues that were pervasive in the South during the time of its filming and release.  However, it isn't a movie you walk away from feeling uplifted.  It is a drama and while I have recommend it to many, I provide the caveat that I consider this a "one viewing a year" movie.  If you find this on Netflix or can catch it on Turner Classic Movies, it is well worth watching.     

The Darker the Blueberry the Sweeter the Cobbler

Some foods, particularly desserts, are only meant to be made during certain seasons of the year.  While there is nothing stopping you from baking a King Cake in October, a Pumpkin Pie in April or Gingerbread Men in July, personal and family tradition seem to set an understood schedule when dishes should be, rather than could be made.  For me, cobblers are only to be made during the summer months when fruit is local and fresh.

Each summer, I wait expectantly for the local farms that offer pick your own berries to open for the season.  My family is fortunate to have three local farms close by that specialize in strawberries in May, blueberries in June/July and blackberries in July/August.  This past Saturday, I made the annual pilgrimage to the blueberry farm.  The field were full of families on outings just like when my wife and I would bring our boys when they were young.  The pattern I noticed with the current families matched our own experience: kids ate berries off the bushes until they were full, picked a couple, knocked over buckets of picked berries and then ran around with Mom chasing them while Dad quickly picked as many as possible before having to retreat back to the car.

A side benefit of berry picking is you can learn a great deal from just listening to the other pickers' conversations.  For example, I learned from the ladies picking beside me that they were planning on using their blueberries for a special dessert they were bringing to a friend's party.  This event was referred to as a "Reveal" Party where folks were invited to learn what the sex of a new baby is after the ultrasound.  Now, this isn't a baby shower.  They were adamant that event would come later. Who knew such a thing existed?  Well...now I do because I learned while picking.  One never knows where wisdom will be imparted.

This year, I picked alone and almost found it to be a zen-like experience.  With my phone streaming WWOZ from New Orleans in my breast pocket, I picked for about 90 minutes and finished up with 9 lbs. of berries.  The damage was less than $21 (about a third of the cost of local supermarket retail) and the family is now set for a good while.  I freeze about 2/3 of them and the rest we eat fresh.

Now, there seems to be as many ways to make cobbler as there are varieties of BBQ sauce but my favorite way is simple, basic and for my benefit...easy to remember.  It goes like this:

When the Tailgate Drops Cup, Cup, Cup, Pinch, Pinch, Stick, Mix,  Bake, Eat, Nap Cobbler

Mix in a bowl:

- Cup of Flour
- Cup of Sugar
- Cup of Milk
- Pinch of Salt
- Pinch of Baking Powder
- Melted Stick of Butter

Pour into baking dish and fold in blueberries.

Cook at about 375 until brown on top.

Serve with Ice Cream (best but not essential)

Take Nap

I'll be traveling to the blackberry farm next weekend.  Thankfully due to the miracle of plant genetics, these blackberries are thornless and I no longer need to look like I just walked away from getting clawed by a mess of cats like I used to when I would pick blackberries by the railroad tracks.  Who says folks in the South are resistant to change?